i sent this to yx n hy the other day,

i hate it when you know that no matter how much you love him, it's still not enough.. it's never enough, sadly.


another 6 long months..

you know, ppl always say that you shouldn't regret what you've said or done,
but how would you know whether you would before you do it?
for me, i don't even know whether i regret not talking about it before he left.
but maybe i would be glad that i kept things the way they were..

who really knows? who can tell, really.

sad.that's why ppl do not make promises..fate has a way of changing, just when you don't want it to.

nver got around to talking about us.
i don't know whether i was just super damn ball-less or i just wanted to keep things the way they were. it wasn't much, but i was contented with whatever i had.

i talked to jamie on tues, and he told me something about myself. he said i'm just afraid of his response if i spill everything. that's true. what you don't know can't hurt you.
but this feeling, you know, when you ponder and think about what the response might actually be, is totally sucky. it's like a friggin lose-lose situation.

i told him "i can safely say that i love him, that i honestly still do love him" with a faraway look on my face. i shrugged and got a whole lot of comfort. thank you so much.
thank you for listening, for just being there.

haha. maybe one day, i will think of him, think of us, and not have this particular feeling within me anymore. til then, i'll just let things go naturally, and of course til then, it's still the same.

anyway, MCDREAMY! lol. :)